Living With PTSD

Veterans are important to Samaritan House, and providing housing and other services to our returning soldiers have always been a high priority. Our Veteran's programs offer an environment of tranquility and an atmosphere conducive to the individual needs of each person. Transitioning back into civilian life can be difficult for a number of reasons, and for Veterans suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, this assimilation can be nearly impossible without the appropriate amount of help and support.

For the families of Veterans with PTSD, sometimes confusion, frustration, and fear accompany the joy, hope and enthusiasm of having their loved one home. Learning about PTSD can make the transition easier and help all parties understand each other in deeper and more meaningful ways. PTSD can make somebody hard to be with. Living with someone who is easily startled, has nightmares, and often avoids social situations can take a toll on the most caring family. Early research on PTSD has shown the harmful impact of PTSD on families.

This research showed that Vietnam Veterans have more marital problems and family violence. Their partners have more distress. Their children have more behavior problems than do those of Veterans without PTSD. Veterans with the most severe symptoms had families with the worst functioning.

How does PTSD have such a negative effect? It may be because those suffering with PTSD have a hard time feeling emotions. They may feel detached from others. This can cause problems in personal relationships, and may even lead to behavior problems in their children. The numbing and avoidance that occurs with PTSD is linked with lower satisfaction in parenting.

You may feel sorry for your loved one's suffering. This may help your loved one know that you sympathize with him or her. However, be careful that you are not treating him or her like a permanently disabled person. With help, he or she can feel better.

PTSD can make someone seem like a different person. If you believe your family member no longer has the traits you loved, it may be hard to feel good about them. The best way to avoid negative feelings is to educate yourself about PTSD. Even if your loved one refuses treatment, you will probably benefit from some support. If you care for a family member with PTSD also see Partners of Veterans with PTSD.

Avoidance is one of the symptoms of PTSD. Those with PTSD avoid situations and reminders of their trauma. As a family member, you may be avoiding the same things as your loved one. Or, you may be afraid of his or her reaction to certain cues. One possible solution is to do some social activities, but let your family member stay home if he or she wishes. However, he or she might be so afraid for your safety that you also can't go out. If so, seek professional help.

If you feel responsible for your family member's happiness, you might feel guilty when you can't make a difference. You could also be angry if he or she can't keep a job or drinks too much, or because he or she is angry or irritable. You and your loved one must get past this anger and guilt by understanding that the feelings are no one's fault.

Family members may feel hurt, alienated, or discouraged because your loved one has not been able to overcome the effects of the trauma. Family members frequently devote themselves totally to those they care for and, in the process, neglect their own needs.
Social support is extremely important for preventing and helping with PTSD. It is important for family members to take care of themselves; both for their own good and to help the person dealing with PTSD.

Information courtesy of National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

How To Get Better and Not Break the Bank!

Autumn in Montana is fickle. One day, the clouds will be scarce and the sun will grace us with it's presence and a 70 degree, beautiful day. Twenty-four hours later we are scrambling for our hoodies and jackets while we scrape the flat from our windshields. We face a problematic meteorological dilemma that would perplex Nostradamus.

This time of year is often accompanied by sniffles, coughs, chills, and a whole slew of symptoms indicating August has left the building. And since finances are tight for most if us, multiple trips to the doctor or pharmacy can become expensive and time consuming. So, here are some home-remedies that might be helpful in the pocketbook. For the record, I am not a doctor, so if you believe you are seriously ill, please seek medical treatment. But, I hope you might find some of these helpful!

1. Think Steam
When you have a cold or the flu, steam is your friend because it helps open your airways. Boil water and pour it in a large bowl containing at least two teaspoons of shaved ginger. Drape a towel over your head, lower it until you’re right over the bowl, and breathe in the gingered steam. You can also do this with Vick’s Vapor Rub. Simply drop a heaping spoonful of the balm into the boiling water and stir it until it dissolves. Again, breathe in the steam.

2. Eat Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup
Why does chicken noodle soup help heal you when you’re sick? Well, doctors and scientists aren’t really sure. Some think that the hot chicken soup can improve the function of cilia, which are the tiny projections on your lungs that help protect you from foreign bacteria. The soup can also help strengthen the movement of your white blood cells, which fight disease. The broth also gives your body much-needed hydration.

3. Drink Ginger Tea
Ginger helps stimulate the nerves that lead to mucus production. If you have a scratchy throat, or dry, irritated nasal cavities, then slice some fresh ginger and put it in a tea strainer. Pour in some boiling water and let the ginger steep for 5 to 10 minutes.

4. Humidify
Keep your home as humid as possible during the winter months. And when you get sick, run a humidifier wherever you’re resting. This will also help your nasal cavities feel better.

5. Stifle That Cough
If you have a persistent, dry cough, reach for the honey. Mix a tablespoon of honey with fresh lemon juice and half a cup of hot water. This can also help a sore throat feel better. Remember though, you should only try to stifle a cough if it’s dry and persistent. If you’re coughing up mucus, then don’t try to stifle it. The more junk you can cough up, the quicker you’ll get better.

6. If You Can Stand It, Reach for the Garlic
So, you might only want to try this one if you’re home alone, but garlic is a well-known natural remedy for colds and flu. Why? Garlic has strong antiseptic and antispasmodic properties. In English, this means that garlic is a natural antibiotic and will help you stop coughing. Its oil will also help open up your respiratory passages and can even help lower your fever. When you’re sick, garlic is good. To make a soup, chop 3 to 4 cloves of garlic and boil them in one cup of water. After it has boiled, strain off the garlic and drink the broth. Another perk? You won’t have to worry about vampires until you get better.

7. Drink, Drink, Drink
When you have the flu, you often get a fever. Although you may curse your high temperature, keep in mind that the fever is your body’s way of trying to kill the virus that has made you sick. The hotter you are, the harder it is for that virus to thrive.
Having a fever means that it’s that much easier for you to get dehydrated. You need to drink water and fruit juice constantly. Having enough moisture in your system will also help ensure that your coughs are productive (that is, the liquids can make mucus easier to cough up).

8. Reach for the Mustard
This remedy is going to sound positively medieval, but the Discovery Channel claims it works because mustard is loaded with anti-microbial and anti-inflammatory properties. Plus, people have been using mustard to help cure colds as far back as Ancient Roman times. I’m willing to give it a try next time I get sick.

Make a mustard plaster by mixing 1 tablespoon of mustard with 2 to 4 tablespoons of flour. Then, mix in one egg white and enough warm water to form a paste.
Next, on a clean handkerchief or cotton cloth (big enough to cover the chest area) smear on the mustard just like you’d smear it on a sandwich. Then, put another piece of cloth on top of it.
Now, rub some olive oil on the patient’s chest and lay the mustard cloth sandwich on top. Leave the wrap on the chest for a few minutes, but make sure you check on it. Believe it or not, mustard burns the skin. After a few minutes take off the wrap and wipe off any mustard residue.

Tips courtesy of Heather Levin, www.moneycrashers.com

Delicious Reminder!

Sometimes revisiting the past can be tough. We tend to be forward-moving creatures who don't enjoy looking back as much as we anticipate riding off into the sunset. So, please humor me as I delve into the past and happily use this time remind you about our previously released cookbook, Come To Our Table.

This wonderful collection provides you with an opportunity to peruse some of the best recipes in the Flathead Valley. What began as a fundraising idea, evolved into a collaboration of pooled recipes from more than 20 different local eateries, restaurants, cafés, and established businesses. Many chefs donated their personal restaurant recipes, all for the cause to help combat homelessness in Kalispell.

Interspersed with facts about homelessness in Montana, Come To Our Table might be the most important cookbook you ever purchase. The money raised is used toward defraying and offsetting our daily operational costs at Samaritan House. Every dollar made allows us to channel and redistribute our funds into other areas where we can practically work toward providing services to our residents.

At over 100 pages, this book contains nearly 150 of the most incredible recipes broken into the following categories: breakfast, appetizers, breads, soups, salads, dressings, sauces, pasta, rice, casseroles, meats, poultry, fish, vegetables, and desserts. The cost is $20 and you can pick one up at our office or call 257-5801 for more information.

With the holidays approaching, our cookbook would make a wonderful present for anyone wanting to contribute to a great cause.

Dean Martin and the Homeless

The old song croons, "Everybody loves somebody, sometime."

But, what if the phrasing was a little different and a space wedged itself between 'some' and 'body'? The whole idea would be wrecked because the concept changes as somebody becomes some body. And what looks like an autocorrect incident actually redefines the entire concept, forcing us to examine how we look at people who make us uncomfortable. Context is everything when we decide whether to treat people as bodies, just occupying space, or if we can remember they have a past, present, and future.

The single mom in the grocery store.

The the older gentleman in the public library.

The middle-aged woman behind the register taking your order.

Do we view the homeless in our area as mere bodies that melt into the scenery and background? Sometimes it is difficult to adjust our vision and allow ourselves to see others as 'somebodies' instead of some bodies. I don't think we intentionally try to be calloused or mean-spirited but we become so accustomed to the homeless around us, we don't recognize them as people as much as we think of them as being props in the community. We lose sight to the idea of context; each person having their own story and deserving the recognition and dignity we give to others who aren't holding signs at intersections.

And I don't write this from a heightened sense of awareness or judgement. I would love to say this is something I don't struggle with, but that would not be entirely true. No matter who we are, stereotypes and predispositions often cloud our perspectives and we rarely realize it. We become inoculated with the conditions surrounding as we forget others are not statistics, but living, breathing individuals who have their own stories. Society conditions us to place worth on a person's accomplishments and not usually their innate value. We see people as bodies. But how many times have others been gracious to us in times when grace is the last thing we deserve? We are treated as somebody.

We can learn a lot from autocorrect and Dean Martin.

Door Nuber 11

John came from very humble beginnings. His parents were divorced when he was just two years old, and by the age of nine he and his brothers were selling Christmas cards and newspapers in order to make ends meet. At first John’s big dream was to simply get a job where he could make $150 a week so that he could make a small house payment and drive a good used car. Here is how John describes his struggles through life:

“I was homeless twice in my life, mainly because I was too proud to ask anybody for help. In my early twenties I was divorced from my first wife. I had my son; I had no place to live. I went out and collected Coke bottles at night. I’d cash them in at the drugstore. You’d only get two or three cents in those days. We lived off a very skimpy diet in those days, rice, potatoes, cereal, macaroni and cheese or canned soup, but we lived.”

Despite his struggles, John persisted. When he left the Navy he started honing his sales skills by selling encyclopedias, then copy machine and then insurance. Eventually he became a circulation manager for Time Inc. In 1971 he stated working for Redken Laboratories, the leading professional salon product company in the U.S. at the time. In 1980 he joined forces with Paul Mitchell, an influential hair designer, and introduced the concept of hair setting and styling as part of their professional hair care system. The company was started with only $700, some of which he had to borrow.

Initially John Paul Mitchell Systems faced many challenges. Even the famous black and white packaging that became a key part of their brand came out of their lack of funds to use color ink. Initially the company consisted of a post office box and an answering machine. A female friend with a British accent produced the message recording to convey that there was, indeed, an office. Through persistence and hard work John and his partner removed each barrier as they came up:

“We should have gone bankrupt perhaps 50 times during the first year.”

Today John Paul Mitchell Systems is a $800 million business selling more than 90 products that are sold through 25 distributors within the United States to approximately 90,000 hair salons. Internationally, John Paul Mitchell Systems works with distributors in 73 countries that supply thousands of hair salons.

So what is John’s success secret? He explains it succinctly:

“I have said many times, the difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is that successful people do a lot of the things that unsuccessful people don’t want to do. Like when the door is slammed in your face ten times. You go to door number 11 with just as much enthusiasm. It is during the toughest times that you do what others will say, oh my God, this is too tough."

All of John’s success was conquered through a set of beliefs that we can all learn from:

“Whatever you do, if you do it better than anyone else, it’s amazing how things just start falling your way. Also, regarding balance, do unto others as you would have others do unto you."

Courtesy of ww-success.com

From Broken to BBQ

With so many dreary and depressing stories in the media, this week I want to focus on a couple success stories dealing with formerly homeless people. I understand these tales might not be typical or abundant, but I believe they are important. The moment a person loses hope, life takes a different trajectory and can become unbearable. So perhaps this first story can provide some inspiration and remind us to hold on and persevere in the face of difficult odds.

Frederick Waller told Nashville's News 2 he once lived on a couch under some trees while doing and selling drugs.

"I've gone from living under the trees, to in a house with trees all around it," he said.

Waller spent the last 30 years in and out of prison on drug related charges. The last time he walked out of the state prison, Waller was a brand new man.

"One of the things I knew I didn't have experience in was working. I had never really had a job," Waller explained.

He continued, "I had to learn how to go about that. So I went to Goodwill and Goodwill really helped me to understand the workplace."

Waller enrolled in Goodwill Career Solutions last December where he learned enough about computers and business that he went out and started his own BBQ drive-thru.

"I wanted to be an entrepreneur. I wanted to work for myself. So I decided I wanted to open this place up and I did," Waller said, standing by the smoker at Ooh Wee BBQ on Jefferson Street.

"I always thought I was a wise man," Waller said adding, "But I proved it otherwise. Now I'm trying to prove I am a wise man by doing things productive."

Waller said his new business is off to a "fairly good start" but that he knows it will get better. He is working to open a second location in west Nashville.

Waller was recently honored by Goodwill for his success.

Courtesy of WKRN.com.

Three Strikes

This is my third attempt at a topic. Since what you read is the final draft, I thought I would allow you a brief glimpse of what transpires before I tidy things up and punch the "publish draft" icon.

Originally, I was nearly 400 words into a treatise about Columbus Day, but I realized it had no correlation to my main point and I was forcing the issue simply because that day is nearly upon us. Next, I made it through two paragraphs based on my recent viewing of the movie Rudy. And while the story is heartwarming and inspirational (like my blog surely would have been), I am an ardent anti-Notre Dame fan, so I could not work past my juvenile and irrational biases. Yes... I am that petty, sometimes.

So, here we are. Some people would say the third time is the charm. This is a curious phrase and from what I've read, its origin dates back to an old English custom declaring if a person was still alive after 2 attempts at being hanged, they were allowed to live. There are other possibilities for this phrase, ranging from Shakespeare to thoughts found in the Hebrew Talmud, but I really like the hanging antidote and since I'm the one writing this, I'll stick with it.

Others argue, "three strikes and you're out." Again, there are a few possibilities for this phrase, but because baseball's playoffs are upon us, let's stay with the tried truism of America's historically favorite pastime (beware, though... Soccer is gaining) indicating three failed attempts at securing a base hit leads to an out. And three outs culminates in the end of an inning!

So, which person are you?

Do you live under the auspice and fear that perpetual failure will lead to a forfeiture of your dreams? Are you worrying so much about not doing the right things, that you are crippling your creative efforts because you are afraid of making a mistake? People are quick to remind you of previous calamitous ventures and you are even quicker to beat them to the punch and chastise yourself.

Or, do you live in the freedom and elation that accompanies the notion that the best ideas and efforts are often the result of multiple failures and frustrations? Do you realize that you've fallen several times but focus on the times you pick yourself up and carry on because its the right thing to do. People are quick to point out your shortcomings and you smile, thank then, and then move on with steadfast determination because you understand fortitude trumps apathy.

How we respond to what life hurls at us defines much of who we are. Do we fold and allow ourselves to drown in our circumstances or do we risk the vulnerability of reaching for greatness and pushing ourselves in spite of what's happening around us? The world is a better place when its populated with people who aren't afraid to be messy. People who know that success is raised from the ashes of failure.

And speaking of failure... If only I could think of something to write about.

Role Models

A few years ago there was a commercial featuring a prominent basketball star named Charles Barkley. To provide a little context, all you need to know is Barkley was renowned for his tough, physical play. He often would be assessed flagrant fouls for his hard-nosed antics, and he inspired countless other basketball players to emulate his actions. The commercial was centered around a controversial phrase in which Barkley reiterated, "I am not a role model." He was paid to be an athlete and presenting an acceptable code of behavior or ethics for kids to watch was not his responsibility.

Maybe he's right.

A few years ago I would have argued it was his responsibility and athletes should be mandated to behave in a manner worthy of copying. Perhaps its because I'm older (and more cynical) but my views are changing. Are there athletes (and musicians, actors, authors, etc) out there who are bastions of decency and morality? Sure. But it's not their job to raise my kids. That task falls to me and I must become the one they look to for guidance and inspiration.

Over the years I've met many incredible people who spent time residing at Samaritan House. Countless families have moved in and out of our family housing units and those parents and guardians do their best to raise their kids with ethics, empathy, and a moral compass designed to inspire positive behavior. One of the most important things we can do is not let our socioeconomic station in life become an excuse for poor parenting. Teaching right from wrong is not dependent upon our tax bracket.

Celebrities are easy scapegoats because their lives unfold in a world with virtually no privacy. When they succeed or fail, it is often in real time. But their job is to entertain and not to be the voice for decency and reason. Instead of pawning our responsibilities as parents and caregivers to sports stars, we need to be accountable for what we are teaching those who look up to us.

The importance of our family housing quarters cannot be underestimated. While they are not luxurious, they do provide a stable place for families to get back on their feet. Families have a place they can stay, rent-free, so they can save money to elevate themselves out of the depths of homelessness. Parents and children are given an opportunity to spend time together so that positive values can be taught and enforced.

We can argue the validity of celebrities as role models all day. But I prefer a world in which families take ownership of creating the strong bonds that will contribute to society.

The Damage of Violence part II

Child maltreatment includes all types of abuse and neglect of a child under the age of 18 by a parent, caregiver, or another person in a custodial role (e.g., clergy, coach, teacher). There are four common types of abuse.

• Physical abuse is the use of intentional physical force, such as hitting, kicking, shaking, burning or other show of force against a child.
• Sexual abuse involves engaging a child in sexual acts. It includes fondling, rape, and exposing a child to other sexual activities.
• Emotional abuse refers to behaviors that harm a child’s self-worth or emotional well-being. Examples include name calling, shaming, rejection, withholding love, and threatening.
Neglect is the failure to meet a child’s basic needs. These needs include housing, food, clothing, education, and access to medical care.

Why is child maltreatment a public health problem?
The few cases of abuse or neglect we see in the news are only a small part of the problem. Many cases are not reported to police or social services. What we do know is that:

1,640 children died in the United States in 2012 from abuse and neglect.
• 686,000 children were found to be victims of maltreatment by child protective services in 2012.
The total lifetime economic burden resulting from new cases of fatal and nonfatal child maltreatment in the United States is approximately $124 billion.

How does child maltreatment affect health?
Child maltreatment has a negative effect on health. Abused children often suffer physical injuries including cuts, bruises, burns, and broken bones. In addition, maltreatment causes stress that can disrupt early brain development. Extreme stress can harm the development of the nervous and immune systems. As a result, children who are abused or neglected are at higher risk for health problems as adults. These problems include alcoholism, depression, drug abuse, eating disorders, obesity, high-risk sexual behaviors, smoking, suicide, and certain chronic diseases.

Who is at risk for child maltreatment?
Some factors can increase the risk for abuse or neglect. The presence of these factors does not always mean that maltreatment will occur. Children are never to blame for the harm others do to them.
Age.Children under 4 years of age are at greatest risk for severe injury and death from abuse.
Family environment. Abuse and neglect can occur in families where there is a great deal of stress. The stress can result from a family history of violence, drug or alcohol abuse, poverty, and chronic health problems. Families that do not have nearby friends, relatives, and other social support are also at risk.
Community. Poverty, on-going community violence, and weak connections between neighbors are related to a higher risk for child abuse and neglect.

Note: statistics courtesy of www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention