Fear

We all have phobias and they come in different shapes and sizes. The fears that grip us range from eight-legged creatures to heights to enclosed spaces. I recently read a report that public speaking outranked the fear of death; Basically, people would rather die than have to stand and talk in front of a group. Fears unite us because they indicate vulnerability and they transcend socioeconomic strata. Some appear very rational (fear of the dark) while others seem odd (fear of the color red).

One of my biggest fears is the possibility that my vision will be taken away but I'm not concerned that I will suddenly become blind.

I have terrible eyesight and alternate between wearing glasses and contact lens. It is quite unsettling being dependent upon foreign, external devices to help me see. I used to do a great deal of traveling and my biggest fear was that I would lose my glasses or contacts and be forced to traverse airports and other monstrous places by means of squinting and fumbling around in a world of blurry misdirection. Fortunately that never happened but the threat always felt genuine. When I began working at Samaritan House I met several people who were in the same ocular boat as me... Glasses and corrective lens were necessary to function.

One young lady told me a story about losing her glasses and not being able to afford an eye appointment or having enough to purchase new glasses for almost 3 months. She tried salvaging through the 'used glasses' bins at numerous thrift stores but was unable to find anything that helped. For nearly 90 days she groped about during the day and was rendered nearly useless at night. She experienced headaches and found it almost impossible to function at her job, a local grocery store in the Oregon town where she lived.

As I listened, a nervousness and anxiety crept over me because I could relate to her story. And while I knew that even if something like this happened to me, I could easily replace my glasses or contacts. She did not have that luxury. And honestly, was it really a luxury? It seemed like more of a necessity because not being able to see properly affects every area and aspect of a person's life. I think we might take this for granted because many of us have not had to worry about this.

Prioritizing our financial needs should not mean having to forgo things such as eye care. Many of our residents have had to make difficult decisions similar to this. Which is more important... Utilities, rent, groceries, or purchases that allow us to physically function? If you have never had to make this kind of choice then count yourself blessed. But if you have been in situations like this, then you understand that sometimes fear means more than sleeping with a nightlight on.