Marketing 101

Shopping is not one of my favorite things to do. Honestly, I can name close to a thousand other things I would rather occupy my time with than wandering up and down an aisle filling my cart whilst trying to avoid the oncoming grazers who are not making even a half-hearted effort to stay on their side of the aisle. But it is a necessary part of life and I accept that I’ll need to do this ritual at least once a week for, probably, the rest of my life.

A few days ago I was navigating the soap and bath section of a particular store. Now, I’m not sure if ‘soap and bath’ is the proper name for where I was but it suited the environment so I’m going to stick with it. After an extended amount of time I began reading the labels on the products and I realized something: each item had a really enticing name that way surpassed its primary function which was to make a person clean. I’m not a stranger to advertising and I know companies need to market their wares with catchy and memorable names so people will be attracted to their specific products.

A few years ago, when the Generation Xers were in charge of marketing campaigns, everything was ‘Extreme.’ The idea was to tie an air of excitement and danger to any and every product whether it was skateboards, cereal, or deodorant. No matter what you wanted to purchase, it was deadly and would take you to the limits of your endurance. But today things have changed even if the products have stayed basically the same.
The current theme I noticed all around me reeked of floral combinations that Mother Nature had never intended. Need to wash your hair? Grab some Coconut Sand shampoo. Time to condition? No problem… Daffodil Ketchup Rainwater will do the trick! Is body wash the item on your list? Look no further than Java Potato Moonshine. I was utterly amazed at what I saw and wondered what type of person would fall prey to these ridiculous gimmicks. Who is just clamoring for a stick of Pomegranate Chipotle antiperspirant?

Then I went home and discovered Sunbeam Kitten Smile soap in my shower.

Marketing is a powerful tool and I wonder if people would pay more attention to the issue of homelessness if society did a better job explaining the issue. Perhaps if we dressed the situation up with really cool and appetizing adjectives and nouns people would be more inclined to notice what was going on in their own cities. In fact, what if we just scrapped the current terminology and rewrote everything? Homeless becomes “Fresh Outdoors Living. Transient morphs into “Loves to Move Freely.” We might as well go all the way with things and we can label Hunger as “That Exciting Tummy Feeling.” Maybe this is the key to addressing the issue; just give homelessness a makeover?
I’m not sure what it’s going to take to make people notice what is happening around them but I’m willing to try anything.

Now, of course this is absurd and my intention is not to trivialize homelessness. But if I got you to pay attention and perhaps reexamine your views then I will consider this a mild success. And I didn't even have to go Xtreme...