Surf's Up

If shelters are not the answer for everyone, but a person doesn’t want to live in a place not intended for human habitation, there must be a middle-ground for people experiencing homelessness. Couch-surfing seems like a viable option for someone who is trying to get back on their feet. Right? But let’s think about this and extrapolate what it really means.

To spend a night on someone's couch and use their home entails some extreme levels of inconvenience for the host. Usually without contributing financially, the person in need of a place to stay must convince their potential host that they won’t steal from them, make a mess, or be any sort of danger. I like to think most people are empathetic and willing to help others if they can, but there is a fine distinction between helping someone and inviting that person to live under the same roof.  Often it is close friends or family that ends up being the ones to turn their sofas into a Holiday Inn Express. But after a while, even the most gracious host can be depleted of patience. Couch-surfing is an often short-term fix to a perpetual state of crisis; it’s like slapping a Band-Aid on a deep, open gash.

People who live in this category -- those who try to couch-surf their way through homelessness – are sometimes referred to by a name: the “hidden homeless.” They don't fit the stereotypical image of homelessness we sometimes have. They do their best not to stand out.  But here's the thing: The longer someone is homeless, the less likely they are to blend in with people who have permanent housing.  It's hard for a person to keep a smile on their face when they know they’re just one quirk of fate away from sleeping in the dirt. It's hard to keep looking and smelling presentable when a hygiene and haircut budget is being spent elsewhere. They are caught in a type of transient purgatory and hope that friends or family members will allow them a few nights rest and comfort under a roof.

And this becomes even more heartbreaking when kids are involved.

The word "homeless" typically conjures a particular image -- usually a man, usually bearded, dirty, and mentally ill. This is not the typical homeless person. About three-quarters of people are homeless for less than 2 months, using shelters only once or twice the entire time. Only 16% of people in America are chronically homeless. The rest are just riding out a tough time in their life. "Homeless" doesn't necessarily mean "worn out," either: Almost 39 percent of homeless people are under 18, and almost half of those are under the age of 5.

This contradicts many ideas people have about the homeless that relies on homeless people being lazy or making communities look bad. These aren't roving bands of shiftless, alcoholic drug addicts begging for change on the street; they're normal people who hit one or two snags while going through a life just like anyone else's. In the case of the kids, they're normal kids whose parents hit snags -- they literally had no other choice or options.

So maybe the next time we walk past our couches we might see them in a different light?