Alone for the Holidays

Everyone experiences the holidays differently.

Throughout the many years we have been providing shelter for the homeless, we've housed thousands of people during this this time of year. Each scenario is as different and unique as the person staying with us. Often, we focus on families during the holidays because there might be children involved and it is sad to face the difficult truth that some kids spend this time of year in a homeless shelter. No one likes to imagine the holidays from a homeless child's perspective. But we also realize there is a particular kind of heaviness connected to those who are single and homeless.

And being alone for the holidays is not limited to those who are homeless. Just because a person has a place to live doesn't mean they are exempt from feelings and isolation that can result from being alone during the holidays. So here are some tips for how to cope with being by yourself during this time of year.

If you’re alone because someone close to you has died, or because your marriage or relationship has ended, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season. There are others going trough the same thing you are experiencing and you don't have to feel like a pariah.

Sometimes spending time alone allows a person to recharge their batteries. There can be peace and solace when a lot of people are not always around. their Ask yourself – are you actually okay with being alone during the holidays, but feel that you should be spending it with other people? We’re all bombarded with images of happy families spending time together during the holidays. Remember that as wonderful as it can be to be with family, it’s also very stressful.

Don’t tell yourself that it’s not worth decorating or cooking when it’s just you. What’s wrong with decorating your place or cooking a special meal just for yourself? Chances are that doing the holiday activities that you’re used to doing with family or friends will give you a lift.

Don’t hide the fact that you’re spending the holidays alone from acquaintances or colleagues. If you’re frank about it, there’s a good chance that someone will invite you over for Christmas dinner.

Don’t drink. Alone and drunk is not a good combination. Chances are that you’ll become even more depressed.

Line up a special treat for yourself, like evening strolls to enjoy the lights, a concert or something else that will get you out of the house and make the holidays memorable.
Do some of the things that you did as a child, like watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer or making Christmas cookies.

And last, you don’t have to be alone at the holidays. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship.

Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships. Volunteer your time to serve or deliver holidays meals for people in need. Ask your local hospital if the children’s ward needs volunteers.

At Samaritan House, we want everyone to enjoy this time time of year and we acknowledge it can be just as difficult for homeless singles as it is for homeless families.