Career Day

I woke up, gathered a light rain jacket and then hightailed it outside. I have about 7 hours until I can reenter the shelter and the clouds tell me I shouldn't count on any accommodation from them. They're as fickle as my high school sweetheart and just as likely to be nice one minute and then dump on me the next. Wow. High school was 21 years ago and it feels like it was yesterday. I remember going to our career day and laughing it off as the different businesses presented their pleas as to why I should embrace their path as my own. I was headstrong and just knew I would take this world by storm. I don't recall any homeless people showing up for career day.

It's funny how hungry a person can get while they plod through job applications. There's no real logic to it and none of the questions or inquires are about food, but my stomach was in knots by the third one and my concentration was almost shot. I'm not a big fan of online applications but it seems more and more businesses are going this route. Life changes fast and doesn't really consult us on whether we approve or not. Having to adapt to the changes and roll with the punches is a young person's game. I graduated school more than two decades ago. I don't feel young but I'm as hungry as any 19 year old out there.

Here comes the rain. I thought it might hold off until I could check back into the shelter. June in the Flathead is meteorologically schizophrenic. They say that if you don't like the weather, just wait 10 minutes because it will change. It has and it does. I'll just wait out the barrage in the library. I can read and check the status of my applications. I can watch from the window as people scurry in and out of shoppes, oblivious to my observations. Blending in is something I like to do but am rarely afforded the opportunity to do. I'm not homeless in the library; I'm a patron.

Time to turn in. It's been a long day and I will relive portions of it again tomorrow. My goal is to find a job, save some cash, secure a place to live. I want to contribute. I'm not an addict or a felon. I've never been arrested or driven drunk. I'm not lazy and I don't even like the taste of alcohol. I have a bundle of clothes at the foot of my bed and a few personal belongings in the top third of a dresser. I can be resilient or sullen and I transcend stereotypes. One thing is for certain, though...

Career day never prepared me for an existence like this.