Saturday, May 12, 2012

Billy Joel and the Agony of Awareness

Today is Saturday and I typically do not work at Samaritan House on this most hallowed day of the week. Since the temperature is morphing into something that periodically resembles summer, I wanted to take advantage of this window of wonderful weather and accomplish some yard work. Well, this didn't take as long as I anticipated and by noon I had run out of lawn jockeys to polish and weeds to pluck. That's when I grabbed (literally) my 10 year old son and compelled him (with no subtlety whatsoever) to give Skyrim a rest and head to the office with me for a little while.

I abandoned my 'Saturday no work' policy because I am moving to a new office and was feeling extremely motivated to finish this task before Monday. I've managed to hook my son on Billy Joel so our journey included Piano Man and Downeaster Alexa but not Uptown Girl because I still have some principles. It was going to be a tenuous day fraught with a little office reorganization, some father/son bonding, and a trip to DQ. As my son gets older, I notice the natural separation beginning to take place and I enjoy these times we can hang out and be carefree for a while.

We arrived at the shelter and cleared out the room that currently housed my official looking office stuff. The goal was to transport everything to my new digs in the administration center just a block and a half away. I checked in with the shelter staff worker to see how things were going and she said it had been a great day. My son has come to work with me quite a few times so he is acclimated to the (un)official sights and sounds of the shelter. The residents get a kick out of seeing him and he understands that each person he meets deserves respect and dignity. He's a good-natured boy and genuinely sees the best in all people.

After loading the truck and moving everything to my new office we were ready to bolt when we ran into one of the residents who is a Veteran of the Korean War. We chit chatted for a bit and then my son, Billy Joel, and myself were on the 93 bypass quicker that you could sing My Life. Usually, my son is very (VERY) talkative but by the second roundabout he still hadn't said anything so I asked him what was on his mind. He told me he didn't understand how a Veteran could be homeless; this made no sense to him. We talked about the larger issue of homelessness and how some people end up this way because they make some bad choices, but many people are homeless because of situations beyond their control. This was certainly the case with the gentleman we had spoken to only minutes before. He wasn't an addict or criminal. He had never done anything to deserve his predicament, but nevertheless he was homeless.

As an adult, I've learned to implement coping mechanisms that allow me to disconnect form certain situations and realities if I feel that I might have a hard time. Grown ups have a really great knack for acting very childish and ignoring obvious problems engulfing everything around them. Children seem to lack this filter and are troubled by things adults have been able to rationalize and label as 'that's just the way the world works.' We accept situations that no person should have to experience as common reality while 10 year olds get agitated, unnerved, and upset these situations exist.

I was proud of my son today because we turned off the music and talked the rest of the way home. He prompted me to remember that being aware of a problem is not the same as working toward a solution. He reminded me that knowledge without heart is nothing more than cynicism no matter how I dress it up.

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