Sometimes I am completely out of my element. This usually happens at Monster Truck shows, construction sites, beauty pageants, and any type of sport where I must compete with 19 year olds. Today I can add a new notch on my belt of uncomfortable situations: paint stores. I know absolutely nothing about paint and all the varying degrees of sheen and applications and tools to get the paint from the small can onto the large wall.
I found myself waiting while the gentleman at the store graciously mixed the colors to produce what I wanted. This was after he explained the difference between flat and semi-gloss. I could have just looked at the very effective chart hanging on the wall but I completely missed it and he was too kind to treat me as I probably would have treated others if I was in a similar situation that demanded stating the obvious to someone as dense as me. Anyway, while my five gallons of semi-gloss Ebony were being mixed in some crazy box that rattled and shook like a Mayan prophecy, I had some time to kill.
I quickly decided against strolling up and down the aisles pretending to understand what was on the shelves. I was really worried someone might ask me a question to which I would have no response but to make something up and then run out the door. After a few seconds of surveying the store I noticed a group of older gentlemen sitting at a table talking while they enjoyed the store's free coffee and popcorn. None of these men were familiar to me and I knew nothing of their lives and histories. They laughed and carried on in a way that implied they cared about one another and they chose to spend the morning together alternating between solving the problems of Kalispell and trying to figure out the Griz depth chart for the fall.
The whole scene reminded me of the value and importance of selected community. Spending time with people we choose to be with. We spend so much of our lives in situations where we interact with people because we have to. Jobs, recreational activities, family, places of worship and meditation... We often have no say over who we spend a significant chunk of time around. It makes the times that we can be selective all the more valuable. I have a sister whom I love but there is no way I would want to drive across country with her. However, if the variable changes and one of my friends would call me up and need me to embark on a transcontinental voyage, then I'm down. The issue is my freedom to enjoy the situation because it is not forced. I have no say in who my sister is but I wanted this guy as a friend.
The more I watched these men from a distance, the greater my thoughts drifted toward many of our residents at Samaritan House. The eclectic natures of their backgrounds and conglomeration of their distinct personalities are often put to the test because they are experiencing a time in their lives where they do not have the luxury of choosing to coexist with others. Many time friendships between them form but there is always an undercurrent simmering below the surface that emphasizes these men and women are together because they have to be, not because they choose to be. Imagine spending your life, as an adult, having to interact without the benefit of a selected community.
Friendship is so normal to most of us, that we hardly give it a second thought. Whether we have numeorus chums or only a few buddies, we can often take thes epeople for granted because to think of a lif without them is foreign to us. These relationships cahllenge and encorage us. They help us become stronger and better suited to deal with life on many different levels. If these were taken away from us we would cease to function the same way. A communal support network is one more thing we need to be thankful for.
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