In Memorium.

Today is Memorial Day. The roots of this tradition can be traced back to just after the War Between the States, when it was called Decoration Day. Different regions of the country had their own unique observations to honor their dead soldiers and eventually a national day of remembrance was established in the name of national homogenization. While this might seem a bit bland or impersonal, think of the money it saved people who were forced to send multiple letters or cards on multiple days when stamps were 2 cents apiece at the turn of the 20th century!

 Anyway... today is a time to remember those who have died in service of our country. As Americans, we love to remember people. We have musical tributes at the end of the Academy Awards as the smiling faces of deceased actors flash before us. Newspapers and magazines dedicate stories and covers to those who have died and cyber space has allowed us to establish entire sites to people we choose to commemorate (my biggest fear is to end up as a hash tag).

We lay wreaths on the sides of the road and I've even seen vehicles with messages dedicated to friends and family members that have presumably left this life. But what does it mean to really remember some one? Can we slap a bumpersticker on the back of the ol' Prius and call it good? We say the families of those who passed are 'in our thoughts or prayers,' but what does that mean besides sounding very impressive when we say it in the presence of others?

 Lots of things are in my thoughts... the environment, the Pittsburgh Steelers, the next Pearl Jam album, war, the economy... Thinking about something is not the same as remembering it. Remembering involves more than not forgetting, it entails recollection; it places us in the midst of a prior experience or situation. When we remember something, we are often transported back to that event and it has the potential to become momentarily real.

 So, how does this translate to Memorial Day? Am I suggesting that we should ignore the veterans around us if we have never served in the military? Abandon all pretense of ceremonial honor? Go out and rent a slew of Jane Fonda flicks?

 Nope. But I would love it if we actually transcended the niceties of pretending to remember and moved into the reality of actual remembrance. Have a genuine conversation with a veteran and not only thank them, but talk with them. Allow them the opportunity to share their lives and stories. I would wager a guess that most of us know at least one veteran. If you don't, please feel free to stop by our shelter where we have an entire program dedicated to men and women who served in the military.

 Remember those who died by interacting with those who are still with us. Take them out to lunch or to the store or to a bar-b-que. Spend time listening as well as 'thanking.' And here is the kicker, while it's nice to have an entire day dedicated to this idea, we can actually do this any time of the year. February works just as well May.